You might be a….

These are collection of scientists jokes a few people (okay me) would find funny. I found them at the Featured Website, Science Jokes collected by Joachim Verhagen. It’s a little bit hard to navigate, though, but it’s worth it.

-if you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically.
-if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
-if you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”
-if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
-if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
-if the “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
-if you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.
-if you understood at least five of these things

You might be a Chem. major if…
-You keep a picture of Mme. Curie over your desk — and it turns you on.
-You think that fresh air smells bad.
-You are distilling your own alcohol
-you heard another explosion without it bothering you!

You might be a scientist if…
-your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
-you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
-you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
-your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
-you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
-you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
-you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
-you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
-your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory. (I would so do that)

You might be a mathematician if…
-you think that jokes about math are funny.

If you thought these were good, check out the humor page in my subprofile collects a few more of these