The profiles return-The Grapevine Gang

UC Berkeley scientists were working on an experiment for U.S. Department of Agriculture to create new larger, firmer grapes for the wine industry. Scientists at the Genetics and Plant biology labs had modified the grapes to make them produce more growth hormone. They succeeded and decided to test these crops on two unsuspecting Undergraduate Research Assistants. The two volunteered to taste these new grapes and felt no ill effects. After a few days though, both noticed their skin becoming progressively more purple and began growing lumps on their bodies. Eventually, the two realized they were becoming like the grapes they had eaten and decided to take revenge on the scientists who deformed them. Fearing that others would experience the same fate, they wish to put an end to all genetic engineering, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. While they may have set out with the best of intentions, the grape DNA lowered their IQs considerably, but gave them regenerative properties that make them unable to feel pain. These abilites make them considerably dangerous and should be approached with extreme caution.

(Disclaimer: This story was completely false and has no barring on reality what so ever. If UC Berkeley really was genetically engineering grape people, I’m as shocked as you are.)