Like my previous post on Season 3, I’ll be picking one great quote from each episode (thanks to the OP fansite for the quotes)
Michael: You haven’t auditioned yet?
Tobias: Oh, no, no. I’m not in the group yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself.
Michael: There’s got to be a better way to say that.
Buster: …hole in my heart. I’ve never opened my eyes underwater. My, um… (Whispering.) genital area… (Normal voice.) is shaped like a… (Whispering.) lobster tail, … (Normal voice.) but without its shell. Uh, oh, I guess I have the panic attacks under control. Oh, and I’m legally blind at night.
Narrator: But Buster had miscalculated the Army’s current need for personnel.
Army Doctor: Okay, then, let’s get you fitted for a uniform.
George Michael: Way to plant, Ann.
Michael: George Michael, why don’t you and Plant just wait in the staircar?
G.O.B.: So, did you see the new Poof [ed. note: A magic magazine]?
Michael: His name’s Gary. And we don’t need any more lawsuits, okay?
Michael: Are you serious?
Wayne Jarvis: Almost always. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.
Michael: My mom is very stressed out, and, uh, she needs something that I can’t give her. Um… maybe a little “Afternoon Delight”?
Narrator: Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named “Afternoon Deelite,” a strain famous for slowing behavior.
Oscar: Well, sure. The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don’t need any details.
Oscar: Maybe I’ll put it in her brownie.
Stan Sitwell: The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
G.O.B.: That’s great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we’re saying? I mean, come on! Where’s your decenc…?
G.O.B.: So, get this. I took his dress eyebrows.
Narrator: Sitwell suffered from a disease that rendered him completely hairless.
Michael: He’s not gonna be happy about that.
G.O.B.: No. Especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.
George, Sr.: My back is… it’s-it’s in knots. I haven’t had a massage since prison.
Michael: Hope that was forced.
Tobias: Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There are just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Tobias: You know, Mother Lucille, there’s a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you’re evincing. It’s when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she’s not going to say anything, I certainly can’t help her.
Car Salesman: The Bronco’s been discontinued. We’re trying to shed that whole fugitive on the run thing. This is the Escape.
George, Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?
Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the ‘T’ on it?
Michael: That’s a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?
Lindsay: Can’t you at least come over and Dustbuster or something?
Lupe: I no does Buster anymore.
Lindsay: Fine. I’ll Dustbuster.
Tony Wonder: But, yeah, meet me out there tomorrow. And if you get thirsty… (Screams in pain.) Ah! (Groans.) (Groaning continues.) (Grunts.) Have a free round of drinks courtesy of Tony Wonder.
Buster: It’s a Subway Sub Club card.
G.O.B.: That’s a magician.
Buster: Oh, it still needs three stamps.
G.O.B.: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn’t ready to hear.
Michael: G.O.B., weren’t you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
G.O.B.: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn’t ready to hear either.
Maeby: Why are we even going after this idiot demographic?
Maeby: George Michael? Are you protesting this?
George Michael: This isn’t the line?
Ann: Yes, he is protesting it. He even helped me make the signs.
George Michael: Well, only mine and the one that says, “This is a tricky gray area.”
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